Sunday, October 16, 2016

Humility Block

When God called Moses to lead the Israelites, Moses had excuses.   Well, we call them excuses but Moses knew himself.   He knew his struggles, his past, his character, all that was NOT RIGHT with him.  He knew his sinful, struggling self.   Sometimes we use those as excuses and sometimes we think perhaps, the Lord needs to be reminded of our faults.   Aren't we kind to be so helpful to THE KING OF UNIVERSE! 

This is my Friday.    It happens pretty much every week that I am reminded of how unqualified I am to stand before a group of people and teach.   My Kentucky accent, that my southern friends say is northern and my northern friends say is southern, is not the best for teaching English.   I struggle with English and spelling!    Is there less judgment from others if I just admit it?  It will take me at least an hour to write this post and edit it.   I will publish it and edit it again.   After posting, I will find other mistakes... after it has been read and perhaps even shared.  

In quilting, a quilter will have one block that is intentionally not perfect.  It is called the humility block.  People do not even notice this in the quilt but the quilter knows.   Teaching English is a humility block for me.   I do not feel skilled, prepared, or qualified for this ministry but it is where the Lord has me.  Unlike the quilt, people can see my inadequacies, they are not hidden away.  I know I am not the perfect instructor.   I know that not every person is getting "it."   They are all at different levels and I am only one person trying to blanket all of the needs together. 

BUT, do you know what I know?   My students know that I care about them.   I am not perfect but, I am available.   I want them to succeed.  Some of them want to understand the English speaking staff they work with (can I end a sentence in a preposition?)   Other students want to earn scholarships and some just want to learn for better opportunities in this country.   I want that for them!

There are 4 areas of language learning, 7 intelligences in which people learn, 1crowded classroom, not enough chairs, at least 5 levels of learning (that is keeping them very broad), 1 day a week, for 1 1/2 hours, and 1 willing teacher.  Somehow, that all calculates for the idea English class in the Lord's eyes.  Who am I to argue with that?

Friday, September 30, 2016

Hard Places

Two years of living in Haiti has taught us......we have a lot to learn!   We were ignorant to how difficult language learning would be and even more ignorant to how difficult it would be to understand another culture.

This past week, a team come from the states to help do inventory, cleaning, painting, planting and repairing at Mountain Maid, the self-help program.  We are thankful for their "attack" on the never ending to-do list.

The team worked indoors most of the time so a few cultural experiences were planned for them. My Dear took the team so our 12-year-old daughter, I refer to as Dolly, went along to a historical fort nearby.  You should know that  Dolly enjoys people, adventures, Jesus, and is passionate about animals.....especially dogs.  Her love for animals is unique to this country where animals are seen as a way of living and not as companions.  When Dolly received a goat, the employees of the mission could not understand why she would not eat her goat.   Dolly explained that she does not eat her friends, which they accepted with laughter.   Haitian dogs, a lone  breed, are considered dirty animals, like street rats.   People do not touch or associate with them and usually run them off, kick them or throw things at them.   They sound dangerous but are actually very meek animals.

The team, My Dear, Dolly, and a few translators walked through the fort.   A little dog was in the area.   Dolly said the dog came towards her with its head low but its tail wagging, wanting so much to be petted.  She called the dog over and she came.   This is not typical for Haiti.  The dogs suffer so much abuse that they are afraid of people, but mama dog came.   She let Dolly pet her head and others on the team asked if it was okay for them to pet the dog too.   The team all thought the dog was cute and were kind to it.   I am sure the locals observing thought it was strange (and gross) for the foreigners to be nice to and especially touch the dog. 

The team walked past an open cistern that was full of water from the rain that had fallen every day that week.   Water lilies floated beautifully on top of the water creating a scene perfect for VanGogh.  They left the cute dog behind and explored another area.  When they walked away,  a local boy, probably Dolly's age, pushed the little dog into the open cistern.   Unlike Joseph in the book of Genesis, this cistern was full.  Just moments before it was a picture of calm with water lilies floating  but now it was the scene of distress as the team looked back to see the dog frantically trying to get its head above water.  The dog tried to grab onto the floating lily pads to pull itself up.  The dog was panicked and was truly fighting for her life.  What was seconds, seemed like minutes or even hours.  It would not have surprised me for a wet Dolly to come home after such an event.   Thankfully, she did not jump into the water because a man on the team laid down on the ground and pulled the dog to safety.  Dolly struggled to get the image out of her head the rest of the day.

The dog quickly ran off.   The team said it was terrible to see and they were all disturbed by the scene.   The little boy just laughed at the dog and probably at the team as well.   Our Dolly, well, I  picture Jesus in the temple behavior.  Dolly was filled with what I would describe as a righteous anger!    She unleashed her frustration on the young man, I am believing that the Lord gave her a fresh word in the Creole language if you know what I mean!   She said that all of this anger came out and she realized that she had to show Jesus to this boy.  Thankfully, she was not talking about putting her hands on him and praying because I think the kid would be grasping at lily pads too.    Dolly let him know that the same God that created him created that dog.   That is not how you treat God's creation.   After speaking nonstop to him for some time, a translator, came and gently took her by the shoulders and walked her away from the boy.    Members of the team  shared that they too wrestled with their emotions and wanted to respond by pushing the boy in....and of course getting him out to teach him a lesson. 

Dolly was emotionally worn out when she got home.   She could not rid her mind of the image of the dog grasping for something, anything to get out of that open cistern of water.  She cried.  She begged me to take her back to the fort so she could get the dog and its puppies and bring it home.  She promised she would not want to keep it and would find a home for it (She just tearfully found homes for 2 kittens she bottle fed.)   When it didn't work with me, she want back to trying with her dad.   It was a hard day for her and tears would fall without warning.   She was unable to focus on her school work.  Basically, she grieved. 

On their way home from the excitement of the fort, she saw 30-50 goats hanging off the back of a tap-tap by their feet and their cries hurt her ears as she tried to look away.   The tears trickled.   This country is a hard place for animal lovers.

Dolly has been teased about the animals here.   But this topic, grieves her.     Yes, the goats in the zoo will one day be served for dinner here, but they will not be on Dolly's plate.  She double checks the menu when in question.  She doesn't eat her friends.   The episodes of the day were hard.   The injustice to animals is hard for a person who is passionate about them.

Dolly confessed to me later, as she sorted through her feelings, that perhaps the hardest part of the day is that she witnessed a person being cruel to another living creature for no reason.  It is as if a line was drawn and part of the innocence of childhood is gone for her.   She saw evil.   She saw sin.  She saw that we all need a Savior. 

The little dog, found a savior in an outstretched arm of a foreigner and maybe, a Haitian boy heard about the Savior and his need for salvation.  You and I probably never pushed a dog into a cistern of water, but we have sinned, caused pain to ourselves and others.   We have grieved the Holy Spirit with our choices.   But our Savior awaits with an outstretched hand. 

*Photo Credits Sarah S.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

What Birthdays Have Taught Me

1st Birthday-- cake is GOOD!

8th Birthday--sleeping bags, new pjs, and music with friends...sleepovers are fun!

10th Birthday--My friend Mary can make herself burp but sometimes it comes out of the wrong end.

14th Birthday--My girlfriend never let my birthday pass without celebration.   Life is worth celebrating.  Friends are worth celebrating. 

16th Birthday--Friends will keep a secret for a surprise party even when you are with them all day for 2 weeks of band camp.  Friends love you enough to not give up on you when they see you making one destructive decision after another. 

21st Birthday--I want to be a rebel.   Do something rebellious on my 21st birthday.   Talked a cute guy into going with me to give blood.   Being a rebel is being different!  I am pretty sure I read something about that in the Bible my girlfriend gave me years ago for my birthday. By the way, I married that cute guy.

27th Birthday--The sweetest gift I ever received sat in an infant car seat in front of me with a pink envelope in his lap, just 4 days old.   Motherhood is a gift. 

39th Birthday--Miss B. gave me the only red tomato we got from our shaded, backyard garden.   Children receive joy from giving, making the gift all the more precious. 

40th Birthday--My friend is a step a head of me in life.   We celebrated her 40th and she wanted to do the same for mine but we would have made our move to island by then. No problem, we just moved it up a few months.   Some events have to happen early or late, but do it anyway!   

41st Birthday--Ice cream!   Good friends, Florida beach, and four flavors of ice cream.   We have literally grown up with our friends.   Married, college students, Bible Studies, celebrating births, graduations and graduations (and even more for one of us!)  praying  for tiny baby girls, Hand-n-Foot, Ho Hos, praying, sharing hand-me-downs, moving (they are an entire page in my address book marked out again and again), homeschooling, ministry, unexpected pregnancies, grieving....legit friends.   When you celebrate, they celebrate with you.   When you weep, they weep with you.   I want to be that kind of friend.

42nd Birthday--I am not 20.   Those were great days, but life and the Lord have changed me and not just my physical appearance.  I know so much more than I knew then even though I was in school until I was almost 30!    Through the ups and downs, the Lord has RESCUED me.   Molded me.   He has forgiven me.   Broken my heart.  Healed me.   Satisfied me.  Rejoiced over me.   Forgiven me some more.   Instructed me.   Held me.  Proven Himself trustworthy and I know so much more from this journey of life.   I am still teachable.  I appreciate, at 42 years of age, the Lord has not called me "finished" yet but still nudges, grooms and grows me.   He sees that I am worth the effort and that is humbling.  

So at 42, I know that I still have a lot to learn.   A lot of people to love.   And a GREAT big God that has slayed many giants in my path (especially this past year) AND who is not finished with me yet.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

What's Going On

Dolly's garden is growing.  We are enjoying the sunflower her friend gave her.   My Dear is working hard with plants as well.   He has many seeds started so to produce flowers and plants to sell at the shop creating more income to go toward reforestation of the country.   Do you know that Haiti was 60% forest in the 1960s?   Now, there is less than 2% forest here.   The area where we live is beautiful with trees and gardens but that is a small, small part of the country.   When the Ts arrived in Haiti, there was nothing here.   Seventy years later, it is a botanical garden.   A sweet reminder that the Lord is faithful if we are diligent and intentional with what He has called us to do.

The Lord has blessed our family with friends.   Friends move in and out of the country, but the Lord is faithful to give us who we need in the season we are in.   This precious darlin' loves animals and adventure just as much as our Dolly.   What a precious gift her friendship and love have been for our girl.   They wrapped walking sticks with yarn to create comfy grips as they showed me the awesome hike they discovered. 

This is part of my Friday.   I enjoy these precious folks!!   So many are eager to learn English.  They pay to attend classes taught by Haitians.   They desire to have the correct pronunciation and accent and want to learn from someone who speaks English as their first language.     They are a lot of fun and encourage me in my language learning as well and challenge me in English!  We use much of our time in conversation which allows us to get to know one another.  It also allows us to pray for one another.   This week, I met a lady Christelle.   She is a single mama who left her selling in the market to attend class.   She spent part of the class speaking with another man who is receiving an education in the states and is home for the summer.   He is helping with the class.   He left with tears in his eyes after hearing Christelle's story and how life is a struggle for her but he could see her determination to learn English and her joy in The Lord.   I am assuming he has not seen that kind of drive in the U.S. this past year.  The majority of the students in the free class are in their early 20s.   They make me laugh!!  I always leave with my daily allowance of hugs!  We probably have close to 20 people packed in the room each week.   I have a class for children has well, with others waiting for another class to be formed.  Many of the children on the waiting list, do not speak any English.  

See this big smile!  Miss B. has her first pet!   She loves animals as much as her sister but her sister had already collected a supply of pets that exceeded the desire of the parents.   Miss B's buddy moved back to the states and "Little Sleeper" needed a new home.  

This is what Sunday looks like for me.   Sunday afternoons are lesson planning preparations.  It is the end of the school year for us and although I enjoy learning with our kiddos....I am looking forward to a little break.   Although there are no "formal" graduation photos, Billy finished 8th grade and Dolly finished 6th.   Next year, we will have a high-schooler, a middle-schooler and an elementary student.   Overall, I love our time in our one room schoolhouse!

We currently have 2 chicks living with us.   Thy are wonderful exterminators!  This little guy was rescued from the middle of the road and was brought to our door and asked if we would care for it.  It will soon join its friend at the zoo with other chickens.

Billy got to spend about a week at the camp which is located on the beach.  This was a big deal for him (and us.)   Apparently work at the beach is better than work in the mountains!  We spent the day playing when we went to pick him up.   It was such a good day and a much needed break from our everyday.   Traffic was rough but we agreed it was all worth it!

The sewing ministry in Atrel is now making these cuties!   I enjoyed having them stop by for a visit before finding their new homes.   Two of these little darlings will be hitching a ride to the states as we come in.   They are not available online as of yet but will soon be on etsy.   If you would want to purchase one, message me or message Mountain Maid on facebook.   The dolls are made in a desert area that has experienced drought the past 2 years.  The ladies sew, dress, and name them and even fix their hair.   They love making these dolls.   Deborah who heads this ministry shared with me that one of her best sewers has a very small home that her large family lives in.   She has been saving her sewing money to build a new home for their family.   She has currently saved $200.   Praise the Lord! (at time of posting, all of these dolls had new homes but they can be ordered.)


Billy and Dolly have been helping with cleaning the cisterns.   What a fun way to help!   They transferred the fish from one pond to another and then had to catch them to return them to their original home.   They had a good time fishing, I mean working. 

My attempt to get a photo of Miss B and her buddy before their move.   It is always fun to photograph giggle boxes. 

We are moving right along.   My Dear has a renewed focus and finally feels like he is getting the operation of the Self-Help Project under control.   I appreciate getting to work along side of him as I work around our school schedule.  Thank you for your continued prayers, support, and encouragement.   See you in a few weeks!


I used to pride myself on not crying.   My winning ticket was the fact that I did not cry during Charlotte's Web!   Aren't I cool?   So, I was just a girl but that pride hung on for a long time.   Now, my niece, at a young age, would cry over almost anything.   I recall one time, she tripped and everyone was looking at her and she just cried.   She was not hurt just embarrassed and she was a toddler.   Toddlers trip.   During my wedding, she saw my sister cry, so she cried too.   I used to call her "tender" but the truth is, life has not been easy on her and instead of having a hard heart, she has a mushy one.   I love her compassionate heart.   In fact, when she is ticked off and mad, it is because of injustice and triggers her "tender" compassionate heart.  My friend "Care" is much the same.   I think they would probably say being "tender" is a blessing and a curse.

Not so long ago, I hugged a young woman who had received some difficult news.   I told her that I was well practiced in weeping. As a tear fell down her check, she confessed, she was not good at crying.   She has known a lot of joy in her life so this was difficult.   I get it, I was the same way but I am older now.   I have lived almost twice as long as she has.  I understand "tender."  Yes, I probably would cry at Charlotte's Web now.

 I know what it is like to love and to lose.
 I know grief.
 I know what it feels like to pray for something and those prayers not be answered.
 I know what it is like to work really hard at something and it not work out.
 I know what it is like to be hurt.
 I know what it is like to cradle a child, a preteen, and a teenager that are sad, scared, or just broken.
 I know what it is like to feel helpless.
 I know what it is like to be yelled at and to fear physical harm.
 I know what it is like for someone to lie about you.
 I know what it is like to be the object of jokes and whispers.
 I know that words hurt. 
 I know regret.

But I also know:
answered prayers.

And guess what, those make me cry too.  I believe this is what Paul spoke about when he said to be thankful in all circumstances.  If I did not know the heartache, I would not know the joy!   If I did not know the hopelessness, I would not recognize hope.   Each difficult situation brought about a gift.   Yes, I cry.   But I cry because I KNOW.   The Lord has been faithful to work everything out for my good.  It is the work of the Holy Spirit that continues to soften my heart for His Glory.   It has given me compassion for others that will allow me to serve them or to be in continual prayer for them. 

I am thankful for the "tender" the Lord has put in my heart because it means He has done such so much more.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Speaking Schedule

We are finally pulling our summer schedule together!   You know what it is like to schedule a vacation?   Well, mix vacation planning with family that you only see a time or 2 a year along with kids wanting to see friends.  Now, add camp schedules, all of your medical and health appointments as well as speaking engagements in different churches and you have the puzzle that is furlough!  We had planned to do some traveling as "field trips" but had to back out of those plans as time is limited and perhaps take a few day trips instead.

For those of you who have asked, here is the schedule as of today!

June 12th   am service     Bible Baptist, NV
June 12th   pm service      First Baptist, NV
June 22nd  Wed.              Central, PKY
June 26th  am service      Central, Winchester*

*My Dear will only share in part of the service.  

Hope to see you at one of these locations!

Monday, May 2, 2016

Good Gifts

Recently, I was able to enjoy a refreshing trip to Florida to surprise my father for his birthday.   My siblings also flew to the Sunshine State and then drove to the international airport to pick me up.   We piled into the back of my uncle's minivan and he drove us to our parents where my sister had informed my parents that a delivery would be made.   My father loved it and was taken completely by surprise!   He disappeared for a moment and returned after calling his boss and letting him know he would not be working the rest of the week.  We ate, laughed, visited a botanicals garden, laughed, enjoyed a road trip, laughed, did some shopping...or should I say looking, and laughed some more.   I enjoyed some time to myself swimming and enjoyed sitting in the sun with my sister and chatting with my mom.   Mom and Dad drove me to the airport to return home and I enjoyed my time alone with them.  My sister used to say I waited to have children because I had issues with sharing my toys.   I think she is right, I have issues sharing and loved having time with Mom and Dad by myself....spoken like the middle child huh!

I have never flown out of country before and I had only flown once by myself from IN to GA where my girlfriend landed in the same airport and met me.   She was a security blanket for me.   I asked the Lord to send me a friend on my flight.   My new friend Birdy would be flying out of country on the same day on the same airline but on a different flight.   I secretly hoped she would be on this flight for some mysterious reason.   As I settled into my seat on the plane, the man beside me began to snooze and I realized that the friend the Lord has sent me was not a person but Him.   I spent time in my Bible and listened for the Lord to lay questions on my heart and then the answers .   It was good and just the quiet I needed after the hustle and bustle of saying good-bye over and over again in an attempt to get out the door to the airport.

After the first 24 hours there, things were a bit bumpy.   I wondered why I had thought this was a good idea to try to relax returning to the culture of go, go, go.   My sister wanted opinions on paint colors and I needed to pick up some hardware for a project My Dear is working on so we headed to a home improvement store.  I quickly left the vehicle and let the others know that I was going on inside to start looking.   When I walked through the door, I saw the tall, dark figure in his orange apron positioned to be the "greeter."  I am always on the look out for Haitians when in Florida.   I walked over to the man and greeted him.   He returned the greeting and in typical Haitian style, I asked how he was.   He said he was blessed.   I shared that I was also blessed.   The Lord showed both of us that we were having a meeting of believers.   Willie told me that he used to be scared to talk to people and then he realized he had really important information to share.   Willie stood with such height and authority, it surprised me that he would be insecure...a place I occasionally find myself.   This man was a pep rally for my spirit and I was so thankful for the way the Lord settled my anxious heart in the form of a tall, strong man from South America.  

On the way back to Haiti, I was in the same exact seat on the plane.   I spoke with a young man waiting for the plane.   I think it was strange for me to see a Haitian person eating an extra large Steak and Shake burger and therefore struck up a conversation.  I enjoyed talking with this young man who was in the states to acquire about a soccer scholarship to attend college as long as he could get his visa.   I enjoyed talking with him and sharing what I knew to be true about the United States and hearing about the opportunities for him in Haiti.   We talked again at the airport in Haiti and talked about our faith.   He was happy to know we were both Baptist.  He was fun.

I found my seat and waited for others to load on the plane.  It was surprising to me how quickly I could get through all of the lines with just me and a carry-on.  A lady walked down the aisle of the plane with a small child and pitched her diaper bag in the seat beside me. I pulled it to myself to let her know I would watch it.   Sometime later, the lady returned to the seat with the cutest little guy.  I would guess he was 18 months old.  He chattered and smiled at me unlike most babies in the country who are unsure of my white skin.   This little guy was so stink'n precious.   He sat so sweetly on his mama's lap.  I enjoyed seeing his eyes get big when we took off and landed.   He enjoyed his cookies and chattered about them while he ate them.   He mimicked my sounds as I tried to occupy him while his mama completed the customs forms.  After landing, his mama allowed me to hold him while she retrieved the luggage in the overhead bin.   Oh what a mushy little guy!   We looked out the window together as he spotted the "ti machin" at work below....just like my boy, he liked things with wheels.  This little boy has no idea of how he ministered to me that day.   The very person I would plan to avoid seeing, a baby boy, was the very person that brought more healing to my heart.   That week would have been the due date of our son and the Lord sent a chunky legged, dark-skinned,  bright smiling little boy;  a tall, dark, bald man and His Son so that I might know His presence.   What a good Father!

*There are no photos on this post out of respect and privacy to those who do not know me but allowed the Lord to use them in my life anyway.