Monday, June 22, 2015

You May Have Been Out of the Country for a Year

You may have been out of the country for a year if....

1.  Your 7-year-old is confused by a side-by-side refrigerator and puts yogurt in the freezer and she can't find the cheese in the freezer.

2.  You rode in a car going 70mph on the interstate and that is the fastest you have driven in a year.   Actually 55 mph might have won the same title.

3.  You have to remind yourself to flush the toilet after each use and not "mellow til it's yellow."

4.   Your 7-year-old is excited to eat at a fast food chain but leans toward your ear to ask, "What did I used to order here?"  

5.  The sound of running water in a faucet makes you want to sprint to turn it off.

6.   You go to the grocery store only to walk the perimeter of the store just like the health professionals say to do.   We can get all of that other stuff imported so what does that tell you about shelf life and nutrients?    Our shopping was pretty much over when we were in the fruit aisle and complete when we hit the dairy.

7.   You notice there are no roosters crowing outside of the window and if there were, you can't hear them or anything else for that matter.

8.   You notice, no one has knocked on the door for the 3 days.  

9.  Your ATV riding children ask you to go faster on their grandparents' golf-cart.

10.  The children ask what they should wear to church and you respond, "Whatever you want."

11.   Every public restroom you go in, has toilet paper AND soap!!!

12. Your son orders a Coke on the plane and then tells you it is an "American Coke."   I don't think he will make that choice again.....he is officially a sugar cane guy.

13.   Your face leaks when you see your parents for the first time.

14.   You hug your grandmother and wonder if it will be the last time. 

15.  You notice, your children are different.........and it is good.

16.  You TRULY worship when you understand every word spoken in a church service.

17.  It surprises you that you can understand every conversation going on around you.

18.  No one stares at your red-headed children as you walk past.

19.  You find yourself greeting people with darker skin in Creole.

20.  You remind yourself it is okay to put your toothbrush under the faucet and notice you pierce your lips shut as you shower.




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