Saturday, May 28, 2016


I used to pride myself on not crying.   My winning ticket was the fact that I did not cry during Charlotte's Web!   Aren't I cool?   So, I was just a girl but that pride hung on for a long time.   Now, my niece, at a young age, would cry over almost anything.   I recall one time, she tripped and everyone was looking at her and she just cried.   She was not hurt just embarrassed and she was a toddler.   Toddlers trip.   During my wedding, she saw my sister cry, so she cried too.   I used to call her "tender" but the truth is, life has not been easy on her and instead of having a hard heart, she has a mushy one.   I love her compassionate heart.   In fact, when she is ticked off and mad, it is because of injustice and triggers her "tender" compassionate heart.  My friend "Care" is much the same.   I think they would probably say being "tender" is a blessing and a curse.

Not so long ago, I hugged a young woman who had received some difficult news.   I told her that I was well practiced in weeping. As a tear fell down her check, she confessed, she was not good at crying.   She has known a lot of joy in her life so this was difficult.   I get it, I was the same way but I am older now.   I have lived almost twice as long as she has.  I understand "tender."  Yes, I probably would cry at Charlotte's Web now.

 I know what it is like to love and to lose.
 I know grief.
 I know what it feels like to pray for something and those prayers not be answered.
 I know what it is like to work really hard at something and it not work out.
 I know what it is like to be hurt.
 I know what it is like to cradle a child, a preteen, and a teenager that are sad, scared, or just broken.
 I know what it is like to feel helpless.
 I know what it is like to be yelled at and to fear physical harm.
 I know what it is like for someone to lie about you.
 I know what it is like to be the object of jokes and whispers.
 I know that words hurt. 
 I know regret.

But I also know:
answered prayers.

And guess what, those make me cry too.  I believe this is what Paul spoke about when he said to be thankful in all circumstances.  If I did not know the heartache, I would not know the joy!   If I did not know the hopelessness, I would not recognize hope.   Each difficult situation brought about a gift.   Yes, I cry.   But I cry because I KNOW.   The Lord has been faithful to work everything out for my good.  It is the work of the Holy Spirit that continues to soften my heart for His Glory.   It has given me compassion for others that will allow me to serve them or to be in continual prayer for them. 

I am thankful for the "tender" the Lord has put in my heart because it means He has done such so much more.

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