Sunday, September 7, 2014

What Chikungunya Will Teach Ya (take it from me and try to skip the lesson on your own!)



Last week, I struggled through the virus Chikungunya.   It is carried by mosquitoes and it hit HARD!

This, I know about me, when one aspect of me is down, the rest of me suffers.   Physically, I felt horrible and even rest would not cease that feeling because insomnia is part of it.   I could easily write of all of my misery, but I will spare you those details and just put them in my tear stained journal.   Let's just say, the last time I felt that bad someone handed me a baby all bundled up and told me congratulations.............where is my congratulations gift???

During this time, I realized how much I missed the old.   I missed the hardwood under my feet, my dishwasher (okay, I miss that everyday!), the yard, neighbors, phone calls, our van, dance classes, church activities, and our ability to go places.   I missed familiar, I have the same bed but it is in the wrong room.  I can lay on the sofa but the antiques from the Boaz/ Blake families are not here for me to look at.   There would be no sending someone to Wal-Mart or no Blizzards from Dairy Queen for dinner (yes Blizzard for dinner for me, I am sick ya'll.)   I could not pick up the phone and call my mom and dad for advice or send My Dear to pick up pizza or wheel through Wendy's to feed the troops.  When I am down, I am down...for the count and feeling bad begins to feel worse.   In fact, 2 people I love asked to Skype with me (and they have seen me ugly before) but I refused both knowing that I did not feel well and to see their faces from the states would be just the signal to start the water works.  

One night, I was so tried and went to bed but could not fall asleep.   I finally just lost it.  Not only was I exhausted but I had taken a nice dose of Benadryl to help with the rash and to help me sleep.   So I was medically tired too.   I was ready to put myself on an airplane to a Florida hospital and pay them to just knock me out and let me sleep in a room undisturbed. 

After a good cry and the realization that there was nothing I could do to rid myself of the itch of the rash and that I could not make myself sleep, I had to make a choice.

My sweet friend Carolyn loaded me with music for this journey on her old cellphone.   I laid in bed in the early hours of the morning and allowed the Lord to minister to my heart with the lyrics of the songs.   I could feel myself relaxing and in the relaxing feel myself rest.   Five hours later, I finally feel asleep.  I had two nights like this but the tears did stop.   I can not control my situation or circumstances but I can control my response.

No, my bed is not located in the home that our kiddos will hold dear to their hearts nestled in the woods of the city.   It is located on a mountain with breath taking views.   My floors are concrete but have dolls, Barbie, cardboard boxes created to be doll beds and computers covering them.   My sofa, worn with years, holds the same bodies everyday at school time and sometimes in the evenings it holds those of new friends who are also striving to serve the Lord with their lives.   So, things are different....very different!   Sometimes it is hard and sometimes it isn't.   I still miss the familiar and the comfort that comes from familiar.  So as I am in transition, with life, our family, and my ministry, I will sit in the presence of The Lord and allow Him to heal me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and allow Him to prepare me for what happens next, cause He knows all about that too.

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